


Hold Me Close

by der_tanzer



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 02:29:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/der_tanzer/pseuds/der_tanzer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Jesse's experience with Tuco, trust is a commodity in short supply.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Me Close

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SegaBarrett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SegaBarrett/gifts).



> For SegaBarrett, by request.  
> Sequel to Touch Me/Touch Me Not

Walter undressed slowly by the dim light of the lamp, feeling Jesse’s eyes on him like weights. He knew what this was but the hunted animal terror in those eyes said that Jesse didn’t believe him. His trust was broken and he questioned Walt’s motives, even now when Walt was merely responding his request.

“Mr. White,” he whispered vaguely. He didn’t know what to say but it seemed like he had to say something. There couldn’t be any misunderstanding between them tonight.

“It’s all right, Jesse, I promise.” He got into bed in his underwear, as unthreatening a presence as he could manage, and lay down on his back. After a long, tense moment, Jesse slid closer and laid his head on Walter’s shoulder.

“Mr. White? Were you telling the truth before?”

“I’ve never lied to you.”

“You said…you said you love me,” he whispered hoarsely.

“Yes, Jesse,” he answered slowly, steadily. “I love you very much.”

“Still?”

“Always.”

A little of the stiffness left Jesse’s spine and Walter curled his arm around him. After a few seconds Jesse returned the embrace, laying his arm across Walt’s chest. He wanted to be hugged hard, to be wrapped in those strong, heavy arms, but he knew he couldn’t tolerate the pressure yet. This was as good as it was going to get, but it might be enough to keep the nightmares away. Then Walter’s other hand was on his head, caressing his short hair with tender strokes, and Jesse burst into tears.

“It’s all right, sweetheart,” he murmured without missing a stroke. As if this was not only expected, but also right on time. “Shhh. Shhh, Jesse, it’s all right.”

“No it _isn’t_ ,” he sobbed, pressing his broken ribs carelessly against Walt’s side. “Oh God, Mr. White, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking _sorry_.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Jesse.”

“I should’ve _listened_ to you. I never should’ve listened to that _asshole_ Skinny Pete, or gone anywhere near that fucking Tuco. If I’d done it your way, played it _smart_ for a change…” His voice cracked and he struggled to choke back a sob. Walt fought the urge to squeeze him harder, knowing it was the worst thing in the world he could do right now, and went on patiently caressing Jesse’s head.

“It was all my _fault_ , Mr. White. You’re always telling me how stupid I am and here I go and prove it… I ruined everything and it’s my own fault.”

“No, honey, you didn’t ruin anything,” Walt said in his most soothing voice. “Tuco’s scared of us, we have a deal in place, and we’ll be back cooking in a couple of days. I’m taking care of you and everything’s going to be fine.”

“Tuco,” Jesse repeated, his voice small and broken. “He—he hurt me so _bad_ , Mr. White. He hurt me _so_ bad. Everything’s just ruined, and I don’t know if…I don’t—I just don’t know…”

“I know, honey,” he murmured. That seemed to be Jesse’s favorite endearment, or at least the one he found most acceptable, and as Walter said it he hugged Jesse a little more firmly. “I know you’re hurt, and scared, and—and confused, but it’s all right. I love you and we’re partners, no matter what. Okay? No matter what.”

Jesse’s arm tightened across Walt’s body and he sobbed harder, no longer trying to control it even for the sake of his battered chest. He hadn’t dared to hope for love, his highest hopes went no further than simple care while he recovered, but now that it was offered, he clung to it like a drowning man to a wet boulder. Walter held him as he shuddered and wept, whispering soft nonsensical sounds of comfort into Jesse’s hair.

Things weren’t going to be perfect after this. Both of them knew that. Jesse would still be hurt in the morning, no matter what Walt did or said tonight. But in his deepest heart, Jesse knew that if Mr. White could love him as he was now, beaten and violated, dribbling a mess of snot and tears on his bare chest as he cried, he could love him through anything.


End file.
